Scribble Art

so, i might count every night, to waiting count every star to staring count every second, to where you are but really, i've never seen night without you i've never seen star like the one in your eyes distance.. again can you please just give up for a while?? cause i miss him 6, may'19 Malang-Jakarta

Dear me i used to beat you up because i believed  that if i was the meanest i could be  to me no one else could hurt me I called that strength but really it was fear i couldn't stop hearing the words my bullies used to call me I couldn't stop hearing them  because i believed them and so i took on that role the biggest bully i could be but to myself I didn't realize i hold the key to that level of cruelty the way i speak to myself grows like a weed or rose from the soil made of how i feel about myself When i looked in the mirror i used to wince but now i wink I would tell myself  i love myself so much that i didn't need to eat that meal it's called "discipline" Another word for looking in the mirror and seeing a girl that was never thin enough that didn't diserve dessert insert inspirational phrase about discipline and bullshit ways to sculpt a body that's been

hanya karena hati rela kubunuh realita ini bukan hanya sekali tentu saja berulang-ulang kali hanya karena "mencintai" ternyata kubunuh juga diriku sendiri! kau tahu? KERTASAN-KERTASAN LEMBARAN KERINGAT?! KAU HAMBUR-HAMBURKAN DINI HARI?! UNTUK APA???!! kau tahu? pikiranku memberontak ENYAH SAJA PULUHAN KILOMETER, AKU MUAK! aku yang memupuk, kau yang menginjak kurawat lagi, kau injak lagi heran, gelap gulita memang terbukti jika sudah bertemu dengan seseorang yang biasa kusebut "cinta" setajam belati pun akan ku lalui lucu memang, haha hihi Tak mengapa berkucur darah, tiba-tiba "mati" Dasar aku, Bucin 10,december '19

Sampai tak mampu lagi tak mampu "memotong" lagi Sampai patah pisaunya tak mampu "mengasah" lagi BOHONG?! apa itu ketulusan? yang kutahu, hanya sangat ERAT dengan "Ada apanya" bukan "Apa adanya" Ingin semdiri, tergantung, tenggelam bukan, bukan untuk mati hanya untuk "menghargai" diri hanya ingin "memahkotai" diri enyah saja lah! enyahlah yang di agung-agungkan "sempurna" oleh Society SUDAH CUKUP sudah, aku sayang aku aku cantik. kamu mau bilang apa?! ngaliho! 7 dec,'19 ditulis dengan seinsecure-insecurenya